One Year

Jozi died when she was 11 years, 8 months, 1 week and 4 days old on 02.13.2023

Jozi will always and forever be my heart 💖 pup. I am so very grateful of all the love and all the feels that Jozi gave me over the years. She was a bright light in our lives and brought so much joy and at the when she died, we had so much heartbreak. I wish she could have stayed with us forever but I know that these littles are only in our lives for a short time and time moves so very quickly every single day.

Jozi will always have a special piece and a special place in my heart and I have such fond memories and many pictures even though I feel like I did not take enough and capture those memories more. I’m never going to forget that Jozi died but I have to keep remembering that that Jozi lived and I loved her for her entire life.

Crumbs On My Kitchen Floor & An Ache In My Soul

After your heart stopped beating on that sunny February day

I tried to tell the world to stop moving, if only for a few short moments

I wanted it to stop moving because your heart stopped beating

And my heart was broken in pieces

I loved you with every fiber of my soul, up to that very last beat

I needed to process what had happened at 2:25 pm on 02.13.23

When I handed you off to those that would try to restart your big heart

I was ushed into a room, scared and alone and shaking

Moment later, I was told that you were no longer here

They brought you in to us and the tears flowed, no movement from you

I kissed you and told you over and over I was sorry and I loved you

As I stroked your soft fur and wiped away the tears from my stained face

I felt for a moment that time was frozen

That this was all just a cruel nightmare, that it wasn’t true

But as your lifeless body that I once cradled in my arms stood still

I knew you were gone and it was not a bad dream

So today, one year later. I’m still here without you, still waiting

Waiting for the world to stop and give me a chance to catch up

To give me some peace albeit as selfish as that may sound

To give me a sign that it is okay for my soul to start healing

There has not been a moment in a day that I don’t think about you

I miss your nails and the tap-tap on the kitchen floor

As you search for dropped crumbs to gobble up

Today, one year later, there are too many crumbs on the floor

Hug your fur kids tighter tonight and give them a smooch from a mama that is missing her girl.

Peace, Love, Barks and Treats Forever, 

Cat

Christmas In Heaven for Jozi

As I sit here on Christmas Day eve, I am thankful that Jozi chose us to be her humans but I am sad that I did not get to spend a 11th Christmas with my sweet sweet Jozi girl. 

No tree this year, no lights, no Jozi Christmas pajamas or mountains of squeaky toys wrapped for a good Corgi girl to play with.  The house was empty without Corgi glitter and the stammering of those little tootsies on the kitchen floor while I cooked and baked waiting for any dropped morsel.  

The house is still so quiet. 

I saw so many posts on The Daily Corgi FB and there were so many humans missing their dear sweet fluffer butts from recent losses to those that are still lost after a long while after their pups died.  

The loss does not 'get better' and I read this quote and I'm not sure where it's from but it speaks volumes for me....

"Time doesn't heal, it just makes room."

This is so very true and so very important.  

The loss does make room in our hearts so that we can move on, carry the loss, compartmentalize the memories, forge ahead with the daily duties of life and keep walking down that road.  Not to the next adventure, but to the next stop.  The stop that will ultimately end for all of us.  

I hope that I get to see my sweet sweet Jozi girl again...I just want to rub that tummy, stroke that special spot that runs between her eyes that always mesmerized her and comforted her.  

I was going through photos of all the past Christmases with Jozi and decided that I needed to post them here...

Peace, Love, Barks and Treats Forever, Cat